I guess I was feeling pretty bad and wanted to cry instead of keeping all my emotions cooped up inside. This isn't gonna be a critical review but more of an emotional one. The lyrics really spoke to me because I was feeling distant from God because of my sins. I didn't really know what to do with them. Although the song wasn't exactly my life because I don't see a therapist, it does feel like that.
Here are the lyrics copied from Google.
Wasn't raised religiousBut I wish that I wasHavin' nothin' to believe inHas been killin' my buzz
I was raised religious, but I didn't really believe in it too much before, but yeah it would be easier if I was very religious and perfect, but I guess life isn't all that easy.
Yeah, I cut my hair, close the blindsPlay Hallelujah like two dozen timesAnd yesterday, I tried to prayBut I didn't know what to say
It does feel like I'm distant from God the more I sin, because it's true. When I consciously do the things I know will end up with me in hell, it does feel depressive as hell. And when you sin, you just don't know what to say to God, even if you need Him. The relationship becomes severed in a sense, like a stranger.
I'm too sad to cry, too high to get upDon't even try 'cause I'm scared to fuck upDon't like to talk, I just lay in my bedDon't even try to go out with my friendsLied to my doctor, she knew I was fakin'Gave me some pills, but I'm too scared to take 'emI try and I try, but I'm too sad to cry
Well, I don't do weed regularly so I'm not high in the sense but I do think that I'm addicted to a different thing. I've been playing Blockudoku even when I'm tired or don't feel like playing. It's a sort of addiction just because it's habitual and I feel just like what she sings, that I can't control my own actions anymore. Depression just makes me want to lay in my bed forever.
I guess that's all... I tried to search for the songwriters to see if they have any other songs because of how much I related to the lyrics, but I couldn't find any. So I just played blockudoku while i cry as i lay on my bed.
The second song I cried to was surprise surprise, "Thank God".
It was about her being grateful to God for creating hell because she thinks it's where she deserves to be and can "be herself". I felt that too. I've been joking about going to hell because of my sins but it's only a joke because "it's only funny because it's true." well not really funny, I do feel depressive as hell because of that. I mostly cried because someone finally agreed and confirmed that yes, mortal sin will in fact put you in hell. An eternal fire of damnation, not just a jokey joke that you say now. I guess being depressive as hell means what it means. Probably ten times worse.
For the rest of the songs, I didn't really like them so much, perhaps a 5/10?
I don't really know how to rate things, either I like it or I don't. I could see how it links up, I guess, with a sad song about overthinking,
"Thoughts",
and then
"Thank God", a realization that she'll end up in hell, an acceptance of a sort,
"Keep On", which was a more motivational song after accepting that we'll all end up in hell, perhaps to party on or something.
Then
"Dancing With Your Ghost", perhaps a previously written song because it doesn't go as well with the rest,
"at least i look cool" to continue glorifying partying on after being sad about exes for a quick 3 minutes. i also remembered the first time i was recommended this song on youtube, didn't like it too much, just vapid lyrics about our current generation.
"Too Sad To Cry", as described above,
then finally
"smiling when i die", to "finish off the song" per se. I didn't focus too much on the last song, it was alright I guess. the typical "i wanna die" teen mindset.
So that's my review for the 22 mins and 34 seconds album released in October 2019.
